Rationalizations about the symptoms of mental illness (for someone with mental illness) or the vagaries of one's actions (for someone without mental illness) are a conscious form of defense. Think briefly about your apology and you will see examples of conscious defenses in service of a projected or preferred self-image. In my clinical experience, some people with mental illness offer alternative explanations for their diagnosis in ways that help to maintain a sense of personal integrity. "I don't think I'm schizophrenic, I'm psychic," said a resident of a care facility where I counsel. "I don't use the word schizophrenia, I think I have time travel and mind travel," said one resident. "It's not fair to say that I have schizophrenia," said another woman. "I suffer from PTSD because of what I've heard and seen from the government and the mob.

"When a person admits that their mental disorder is an illness, it may mean that they don't admit it in their minds when it comes to consistency or integrity, and therefore feels like a kaleidoscope of disjointed bits and pieces. That would be really scary.Defensive rationalization could explain that the number bestows special meaning on this person: I have talent; Stand out, be unique, fight things others don't know about.

Such rationalizations exist at the border between the conscious and the unconscious; they are part of ego deception and repair. Rationalizations are at least partially invented by consciousness, while delusions are perceived as accepted and undeniably true; they have the authority of being different.